Why abstract? – What corporate experience taught me about myself
Why do I love painting in an abstract style? Well… we're first going to take a little detour into my past and corporate experience…..
As a teenager and my early years I was so into realistic sketching and painting. I loved to paint flowers, nature, people. And then I stopped painting for many years...
I took a long break from painting, a stillness for over 20 years. Not that I didn't want to paint. But I followed a life's path of a university degree in Computer Science, a career in Information Technology, and MBA, and a 9-5 life (or often 8-6 life) of creating or managing things that were needed in the profession I was in. And just to confess, I do love the analytical side of things quite a bit too…
I often added a touch of creativity to my corporate work and liked when I saw the positive results of that. I enjoyed looking at things outside of the box and observing patterns at a conceptual level. But it was still a very structured environment, in which my brain also started to compartmentalize things in a structured manner. The mind was looking to establish blueprints, calculate possibilities based on data, many if-then-else scenarios, and think of many possible things that could go wrong - it was part of the profession. It was why we were paid nicely - to make sure that while we plan and build things, or plan things, risk is minimized and mitigated, that everything works as planned, and if something digresses from the plan the lessons learned needed to be thoroughly documented and explained. Add to that an environment at times, where mistakes or gaps would grab much more attention of the leaders than accomplishments, and it can become much less inspiring than one would desire life to be.
Nothing bad so far, it's the way the corporate world functions for the most part (or at least the IT world I know). And, I am very thankful for the experience. It thought me a lot and gave me a lot. (And by the way, not all companies are built equal, and we do need to acknowledge those extraordinary companies and leaders that instill the flourishing of creative mindsets, where people just can't wait to get together in the morning because they know there is a creative dream they can be part, which can feel super cool).
Corporate life (in my own humble experience) taught me that I really dig freedom of thinking and ideas within a non-rigid way of planning. It taught me how much I was missing a belief of "possibilities are endless". It taught me how much one can actually personally thrive and succeed from a mental position of "all will be good" vs "what can go bad as we try to achieve this exact target".
Interestingly, my professional observation was not far from my past personal experience. I had a more rigid way of thinking about life, relationships, friendships, personal goals, life plans etc. I caved in more into how "others" are thinking, thought more about standards set by others, and was less inclined to follow my inner voice. I was more afraid about making mistakes or disappointing people…. Add to that some highly demanding relationships in which I had lost myself. You get the picture…
Thankfully I am at a different place today, where I know that whatever comes from my heart, will be good enough! If what comes from my heart does not fit certain people's views, that is OK. If what comes from my heart will seem different from what others do or want, that is OK. Because I realized that when I do things by "being true to myself", those people I attract around me and the doors I open are just so in alignment with my energy. And what's beautiful is that in this state I am able to be someone who is able to give more to others. And in the end we can give most beautifully if we are true to ourselves.
Sorry for the detour that was a bit longer than planned… back to why I love abstract!
I love painting abstract because it embodies some values that have become very important for me today; such as
Pursuing an instinct I have, without having to know the outcome…
Expressing myself freely without following a blueprint…
Listening more to my inner voice rather than what is outside (or what others expect)…
And lastly and most importantly, I find abstract painting simply exciting and I'm so intrigued by the possibility of wild color combinations and various hand gestures that can be used in its creation.
I could list a few more (perhaps something for another post), but you probably get the idea here…
There are huge parallels with my personal evolution and my art;
On a personal level, I am learning more and more to let go in life, follow my intuition more often, express myself the way I feel, and explore life with an open mind not worrying about the end state or mistakes, discover surprises on the way, and then continue to learn from these discoveries.
My art has the same philosophy; I want to let go, follow intuition, express on the canvas what I feel like that day, explore and not know exactly what the end state will become, be surprised by the end results, and learn along the way from the discoveries I make in my art.
Please share below, what you love about abstract or other styles ?
And before we end let's have some fun and finish this post with some of my very early works as a child :)
Previous Comments & Answers on this post from my old WordPress site:
Jeannette Finistauri
January 27, 2020
I appreciate you sharing your background with us all. I only started painting after I retired. I love your style, I find it soft and gives a feeling of peace that I do not see in most abstract paintings. Most leave me confused and i don’t understand why. Personal preference I guess. Do you have a tutorial on Utube? I would love to see you at pleasureDeniz Altug
February 5, 2020 at 10:39 am
Thanks so much for your comment Jeannette and for your kind words about my art! Yes there are a lot of personal preferences when it comes to art, and it’s fascinating how many different styles of abstract art exist in the world. And everyone is different in how they resonate with certain styles more than others.I do have few timelapse videos on YouTube you can check out at https://www.youtube.com/denizaltugart